SUNNY SIDE UP
“Make your future so enormous that your past fades away.”
 

We often consider the present day the most stressful time in history. After all, you can’t live in the 21st century without experiencing stress in some form or another. Putting things into perspective is essential; pressure isn’t unique to our era. People once gathered roots and berries to survive while evading saber-toothed cats. That sounds pretty stressful!

Once we gain that perspective, looking back at the big picture is easier. Our stress response is an inherent survival skill that keeps us alive: freeze, fight or flight. An unexpected loss introduces a new, unique stressor into our lives. Many failures, then, present a plethora of stressors.

Some years ago, I walked through a series of devastating losses myself. I lost my family, my position as president of a pastoral organization, my home, and worst of all my way. Soon, I will share my journey and how I rediscovered joy. For now, let us focus on how stress can impact our perspective.

While losing someone may not pose direct harm, it can trigger the same stress response we would experience when facing a wild, dangerous animal. We may even anticipate the freeze, fight or flight response before it hits. I often asked myself, “Did you not see it coming?” or “Didn’t you have any idea?” Regardless, a loss will elicit the same response, whether expected or sudden and unexpected.

Stress triggers can come from various sources, and it is essential to develop practical stress management skills to help us through difficult times. We must manage stress in the fast-paced modern world with many simultaneous demands. True, our challenges today may involve something other than surviving in the wilderness against packs of wolves. Still, we experience chronic hits to our mental health as our constantly ringing and buzzing devices leave us in a state of manic hypervigilance.

We feel trepidation when we must care for our aging parents. We recognize our fear as we struggle to mold our children amidst social media pressures and new societal norms. We acknowledge Facebook’s grip on our lives. The global impact of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020 all but severed the remaining ties of human connection. Mandated distance and isolation put many of us in the virtual equivalent of solitary confinement. Despite all of these challenges, we can equip ourselves with the tools to survive and thrive.
 
 
Stress is a challenge that we must confront head on, adapt to and conquer. Through this process, we can create something truly remarkable and enduring. Once the stressors dissipate, we can confidently move towards our goals. It is crucial to confront and process stress, rather than ignoring or fixating on it. We must take charge of our lives, face the pain we’ve experienced and choose to grow stronger in spite of it.
The Cleveland Clinic defines stress as “the body’s response to any situational difference that requires adaptation”. In other words, when the environment changes, the body must adjust to new physical, mental or emotional responses. Negative feelings, such as nervousness and the inability to relax, sleep or concentrate, may arise as a result.

Psychologists widely acknowledge that even positive life events can cause inner tension. Interestingly, the happiest moments we experience are usually the result of significant life milestones such as a new job, a new home or the arrival of a new baby. Unfortunately, anxiety can also arise from negative events such as job loss or prolonged physical injury. Regardless of the cause of stress, it is possible to use it to our advantage. Rather than tearing us down, stress can help us become stronger and more adaptable.

Regardless of what your stress arises from, the following chapters offer solutions. In this book, I aim to provide you with valuable insights on how to grow through any stressful situation that life throws at you. You will find pearls of wisdom scattered throughout the book that can help you experience life positively, just like I do. As I mentioned before, I lost everything that was precious to me at one point. Then, I realized the importance of letting go and trusting in God to guide me through the tumultuous river of life. By surrendering and putting my faith in Him, I was able to recover everything that I had thought was lost.
FROM THE BOOK: THE JOY OF BALANCE