“WHAT KEEPS YOU ENTHUSIASTIC KEEPS YOU CREATIVE”
Throughout life, I have realized the importance of joy in family and raising children properly. As parents, we need to model appropriate behavior. Children learn nearly everything from their parents since they grow up following our lead.
One of the best lessons we can teach is that we should always treat people with respect, even if we do not agree with one another. By teaching our children to be able to show everyone respect whether we like them or not, they will learn valuable skills that will help them live a joyful life.
Moving beyond hatred and negative feelings towards another person can be difficult and scary, but it is also one of the most amazing feelings. Once we let go, we will experience almost an overwhelming sense of freedom. With this freedom, we can set achievable dreams and regain control over our lives. Only when we finally let go can we chase our dreams and get what we want out of life. But the truth is, letting go can be scary. For me, letting go felt as if I was relinquishing control.
If you are like me, and you like to take control of your life, this will be difficult, but let me share a secret — we never actually had control in the first place. Take comfort in this fact, and let go of the notion that you can control everything around you.
A friend of mine, who is also a therapist, mused that those feelings of wanting control are a lot like drugs. My divorce forced me to go through the Five Stages of Grief. According to the famous psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler Ross, there is a common process of emotions that everyone who experiences loss goes through. I was no different.
Some folks move through theemotional stages of grief faster than others. It was the voices of encouragement and support in my life, and the word of God, that helped me transition through my journey. Be hopeful. This difficult time will pass. You will heal, and things will get better. As cliché as this sounds, you will look at this moment in a few months or a year and smile, knowing the experience helped you become stronger!
I had nothing to lose or prove by living as my authentic self, flaws and all! As Joseph Campbell, a prolific American author and professor of literature, wrote: “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned to have for the life that is waiting for us.” Letting go is easier said than done, but try not to let misery take control of your life. Decide that it’s time to stop giving so much energy to sadness and focus instead on positive things. This was a struggle at first, but in due course, I healed. In time, so will you. Here are some tips for emotional redirection. Emotional redirection is a technique to flip negative thoughts into productive actions.
- Use that motivation to set new goals when you feel yourself dwelling on past accomplishments and are worried you won’t ever reach the same heights.
- Divide goals into three categories: Now, Soon, and Eventually.
- Now – What goals can you achieve today to improve your life? This can be something small, such as getting a haircut, washing your car, finishing a book, hitting the gym, or calling a family member. Think about this as an opportunity to establish momentum with smaller tasks.
- Soon – What realistic goals can be set for this week? This month? This year? Write them down on a calendar and break them into practical pieces. Want to write a novel by this time next year? Assign yourself a few chapters each month. No matter how large your task is, you can always tackle it piece by piece.
- Eventually – This is where you can project future desires and ambitions into long-term goals. For example, do you want to pursue a degree? Buy your first home? Climb Mount Everest? Whatever your goal is: Plan. It. Out. You can visualize the end goal and break it into smaller pieces with a plan. Eventually, you will be able to achieve your dreams.
- All these goals build up. Every “Now” can feed a “Soon,” and every “Soon” can serve as a vital piece to an “Eventually.” So, work at your goals one step at a time. No goal should ever be too big or too small.
Remember all the lessons from this chapter. Make them your mantra. They are your fire whenever it is cold. Keep them close. Find perspective. Welcome yourself. Become untangled. Use your momentum in positive directions, and always seek freedom through release.
