“A PLAN IS A WRITTEN MAP TO YOUR DESTINY.”
Like the metaphorical river, we all must undergo change in order to reach the sea, our final destiny. As a river travels across the land, it picks up silt, debris, and sometimes pollutants along the way. Such is the way with people. Life’s burdens may grow as we accumulate emotional baggage along the way. The path becomes unclear, muddy. A river’s waters may be forever altered, but that does not mean that the water is no longer potable. Over time, as it runs its course, the waters eventually deposit the heavier sediments and for a time the water feels cleaner, more clear. Such has been my life’s journey. And while they say that time heals all wounds, that is not necessarily true. While my spiritual waters are less murky, I am still a changed man. This is why I encourage active spiritual therapy to help navigate these times of uncertainty.
Therapy can come in many forms. I improved my outlook after my divorce by focusing on the compassion I saw on display in others all around me. Their strength gave me strength and eventually led me to begin a new chapter in my life with new love. More on that later.
Whatever your situation: there always is hope, and you can take small steps to ease your pain and regrow your confidence and passions. There are many routes you can take to deal with the loss, and it’s up to you to determine which of them provides the optimal way for you to find healing.
If you are experiencing symptoms such as depression, insomnia, and anxiety, you should also seek out the support and guidance of a medical professional. This is a responsible and healthy action to take, and nothing to be embarrassed about or disregard. There is a stigma around mental health, but there shouldn’t be. Would you hesitate to visit a doctor if you had a serious infection or a broken limb? No, and you should treat your mind with the same care and respect as you treat your body.
Learn how to be present day-to-day. We spend so much time either planning for the future or dreaming of the past that it’s a rare skill to root yourself in the “now” and simply take in today. The present isn’t always pretty.
All boats need an anchor. Consider the small miracles and anchor yourself in those moments no matter how hard your day is. Feel the warm sun on your face when the air is cool. Listen to the sound of rain on glass windows. Smell the smoke from burning autumn leaves. These fleeting moments offer profound opportunities to experience healing. Be present in these moments.
Positive results follow with the internalization and consistent practice of these pointers. Grieving can be a long and challenging process, so any result is progress towards restoring your confidence and self once again. Change, even when it seems devastating, can yield some good. As the musician Leonard Cohen once said, “There is a crack, a crack in everything — that’s how the light gets in.” When the light gets in, we have a chance to see things more clearly. Here, we will focus on routines and habits ripe for change. We will examine how we combine our interests and hobbies.
Consider dropping the activities that no longer captivate you and pick up a new interest or two — something we’ve always wanted to try. When trying these new hobbies, be on the lookout for emotional exhaustion. That’s when we know we’re overwhelmed. This may come from the activities that are no longer bringing you joy or new hobbies you try. Don’t work yourself too thin.
In some cases, you might need professional support. Emotional drain is a normal part of life, so keep your head up. Smile at strangers. Repeat positive affirmations. Don’t give up now. It might feel like a door just slammed in your face, but trust me, another door also opened. Now that you’ve asked yourself that massive question of where you are, where will you go next?
